In a previous post I mentioned the key points to remembering names when I rang up a call centre and I gave you a quick process to show you how to remember names so you don’t forget them during your call.
Well quite recently the issue of learning names came up again when I was working with a group of Dental Trainers and so I thought I would show you this short video to explain a very simple process anyone one can use.
I call it my “How To Remember Peoples Names Video” for some strange reason just click the screen to play this short video
Remembering peoples names is probably the biggest complaint I hear not only when I am working with people in a professional capacity, but also in day to day conversation with people who have no idea what I do for a living.
I am sure you can probably remember a time when you have met someone for the very first time and then literally seconds later you have absolutely no idea what their name is.
This is such a common problem and the reason is quite straightforward (and it is not because we have a poor memory) – remember our brain is more powerful than any kind of sim cards or storage devices ever invented.
You will also be pleased to know that the solution is quite simple too.
The #1 Reason Why You Forget Peoples Names Is
When people are faced with an introduction to someone they have never met before, much of the inner self talk and focus of attention is on making a good impression, giving the right sort of handshake, remembering to smile, making good eye contact and eventually saying our name.
So we are thinking about these things:
- Making a good impression
- Giving a good handshake
- Smiling
- Eye contact
- Saying our name clearly
With so much going on we have little time to think of anything else and it is during that flurry of internal activity that the person we are meeting says their own name.
Whilst we might register that something has been said, we probably even recognise it as a name, it pretty much goes in one ear and comes right out the other.
This is because our own attention is elsewhere and we never really latch onto the name as it is spoken.
So the #1 reason for not being able to recall someones name immediately after we have met them is that we never got the name in the first place.
This is the main reason why people have such difficulty remembering names.
The Solution Is Very Simple – Here is How to Remember Peoples Names
Step 1 – Get Ready
The first thing you should do is make sure you are ready for the introduction.
Have your ears open ready to listen and your eyes open ready to see.
Make sure you also mentally prepare yourself for the introduction and get in that “Meeting People and Remembering Their Names” state
Step 2 – Set the Pace
When it comes to the actual introduction, set the pace by saying your name slowly and clearly.
Saying it twice will give your new acquaintance time to register it and saying it slowly and clearly will give them something to follow in the way they say your name.
So not only are you giving this person a better opportunity to get your name (and therefore are more likely to remember it), but you are also setting yourself up for similar success when they follow your example.
To say it twice without sounding like a moron, I always introduce myself as “Michael..Michael Tipper” with a good pause so they clearly register it.
I cant tell you the number of times I have been complimented on my introduction style.
Step 3 – Listen Intently For Their Name
Then once you have said your name, LISTEN out for theirs.
It is crucial you do this and make a conscious effort to do so because it is at this point that the battle to get peoples names (and remember them) is either won or lost.
Step 4 – Repeat The Name Back to Them
As soon as you have heard the name, repeat it back to them out loud “Joseph, it is very nice to meet you” or something similar that you feel comfortable with.
By doing this, you now have a conscious connection with the name, you have used it and it is now part of you (instead of having flown off with the fairies never to be heard, or remembered, again).
Just doing this will dramatically increase the probability of you being able to remember someones name.
Step 5 – Talk About the Name in Some Way
Something you might want to do to reinforce the name even deeper into your working memory is to perhaps discuss it in some way.
Checking the pronunciation is a great thing to do if it is an unusual name to you for example from a different culture or country.
By doing this you are showing interest in the person via their name and adding another layer of exposure to it that will help you remember it.
Sometimes I ask about the spelling as that helps me if I can see it written down (albeit in my mind).
Step 6 – Use The Name Frequently
Then as soon as you can and as often as you can (without sounding like a stalker!) use their name in the conversation:
“I am sure you know what I mean David”
“Angela – how do you feel about that”
“Chris – can you pass me the peanuts please”
and so on
Not only will this reinforce their name even further into your memory, but by using it you are showing you have taken an interest in them.
People also endow you with almost superhuman qualities if they see you confidently meet several people at once and then use their names.
When I run courses with smaller groups (25 or less) I like to do the same thing and many are impressed by a feat they could do themselves if they knew how.
Step 7 – Review the Names
This last step is something you can do in quieter moments during the encounter to remind yourself of who is who and give yourself yet another opportunity to reinforce it for later recall.
I have used this process many times to great effect and find that it works perfectly with groups of about 5-7 people met at once.
For larger groups you just need to control the introductions so you only ever meet 5 or so people at once and then give yourself a bit of breathing space between groups to reinforce and remind yourself of their names.
It requires a little more effort but the results are worth it and I strongly recommend it if you want to remember names for longer.
Try it out and leave me a comment below to let me know how you got on.