Patient:  Doctor, Doctor, I think my memory is going!

Doctor:  When did this happen?

Patient:   When did what happen?

I have been having a trawl through my joke books and through the internet to find you an amusing memory ditty for you to chuckle on this fine Friday and I just had to tell you about last week's joke.

I have found several versions of it and the funniest was a version where the person writing it had forgotten to add the punchline!  We shouldn't mock the afflicted but we must laugh at ourselves and these jokes are presented to you in the knowledge that we have all made a memory gaff at sometime in our lives.

If I told you the sort of things I have forgotten in my time you'd wonder why I ever chose the career of "memory expert".  However the reason that I chose this route was because I did have problems with my memory and I decided to find out how to deal with them.  Sharing my discoveries with others was the natural progression.

So just to show you that the label of "memory expert" doesn't mean I don't have bad memory days (when I don't apply what I know), here are my top five memory gaffs.  Each of them have a story behind them to "justify" what happened but as we used to say in the Navy "why let the truth get in the way of a good dit"

1.   On the very first day I gave a lecture about memory improvement, I forgot to pick up a colleague on the way to work.

2.   When I was married I once introduced my wife as Wendy (her name is Julie) - my dear Ex often tells me that now she understands why I am her Ex!

3.   I went on local radio to talk about memory and I got the name of the presenter wrong

4.   Years ago when doing some goal setting as I was deciding on what to do with my life, I set my number one goal as improving my memory.  A couple of days later when I was reviewing my goal list I noticed that my number 4 goal was also to improve my memory!

5.  Only recently I was at a social gathering and was being ushered from one group to another because the host wanted to show off her "memory expert" friend.  When being introduced to the first group of people, I wasn't thinking and missed every single name and had a blank look on my face when someone said, "go on then, tell us what our names are!"  Fortunately I got out of that one and no one ever knew (might tell you about that in the future - pure finesse even if I do say so myself!

I told you in a recent post about my new book that is going to be published next year.  Well this morning I received the artwork for the cover and I thought I'd take this opportunity to give you a sneak preview of what the cover will look like (but you must promise not to tell anyone!)

I haven't asked my publisher yet whether I can show you what the cover will be but I am sure if I am not allowed to they will tell me pretty quickly and I'll take it down if I have to.  So in the meantime, take a sneak preview of the cover which you will see below (you may need to click on the "more" link). More

The link to the "Ask A Memory Question" page has been on this site for a few weeks now and I am pleased to announce that this link is working and I am ready to take your questions.  Already questions have started coming in and I have begun responding to them.  One of the first questions I was asked was by Chris who asked:

"…I have some tests coming up which involves simultaneous maths questions and vairous multi tasking exercises on a computer. There is going to be lots of speed distance time calculations thrown in too. What exercises can i do to prepare for the examination..?"

Here is what I told him: More

I was driving in my car the other day listening to my "Learn to Speak Russian" language tapes and there came a point where I was taught to use something that I already new but in a different context.  These tapes are really very clever (do check out any language learning tapes by Pimsleur) and as the speaker was leading up to the point where I was about to learn the new use for existing knowledge, I started to get excited because I could see what was coming.

By anticipating what was going to happen I had discovered for myself the new use of the language.  Ok it was only by a couple of seconds because the realisation of what was happening dawned just before I was told but that doesn't matter because I "got it" on my own before I was "taught" it.  And knowing that made me feel fantastic.

I was smiling from ear to ear.  I even started cheering in the car…much to the astonishment of the queue at the bus stop!  But I didn't care because I had discovered something for myself.  I had made the connections and More

I was trawling the internet just recently looking for something about the "Use it or Lose it" phenomenon and I came across a campaign by a group of students at a University in the UK.  There are 7 bars on the campus, each of which is open every night of the week.  If you do the math, that is 49 bar nights per week. 

Apparently the powers-that-be in the university are on a campaign of their own to save nearly $6million in operating costs and they have decided that one way is to cut the opening hours of the bars.  So instead of every bar being open every night, some will close on some nights giving a reduction of about 21 bar nights per week.

Imagine the shock and horror that has caused on the campus.  Well as you'd expect the fear of losing something so dear to them has prompted them into action with petitions, "barcotts", advertising campaigns and all sorts of activities to help them retain something that they are possibly going to lose.  Their enthusiasm to keep something that they believe is rightfully theirs is admirable indeed.

Now if you were going to lose something that you depend upon right now, do you think you would put up a fight and put together your own campaign to retain what is rightfully yours?  I suppose the glib answer would be for you to say "yes of course" but in reality you are likely to question exactly what is it that you might be losing, would it matter if it went and what effort do you have to put in to retain it.

But you see, if you don't do something about it now you could be losing something that is very important and precious to you that you probably wouldn't appreciate until it has gone and by then it will be far too late. More

One elderly couple is visiting another for supper. The two women go into the kitchen for a moment, leaving the men to talk.

He then whirls around and yells into the kitchen, "Hey, Rose! What was the name of that restaurant we went to last night!?"

If you are a native English speaker and you have tried to learn one of the main European Languages (French, German, Spanish or Italian) then you will no doubt have discovered that there are many similarities between English and each of these languages.  I don't know the full background to this but it has something to do with latin I think (please can one of my more erudite readers correct me on this!).  Anyway the point being that there are words that you already know in another language because of similar roots from way back. 

For example in German, Hafen means harbour.  This is closely aligned to the word Haven as in a safe haven. So a German word has links to an English word.  Therefore in order to remember something new we can link it to something we already know.  With these European languages this happens quite a lot which is why relatively speaking, they are quite easy for English speakers to learn.

Now if you have been reading my posts over the last couple of days, you will know that I am learning to speak Russian which is a completely different language to English.  I have a friend who is convinced that all I need to do to speak Russian is More

 A few months ago I was approached by Duncan Baird Publishers to write a book on Memory Improvement.  Initially I turned them down because of my busy schedule but after a few calls they convinced me do it (thank you Caroline and Bob!).  The main body of the text was finished at the end of July and yesterday I read the first proof with the artwork.  Even though I say so myself, I am pretty impressed with the book.  You sort of lose sight of the bigger picture when you are in the weeds of writing a particular spread and you are focussing on how to get people to easily remember their ATM PIN number.  However once you see it in all its glory you begin to appreciate the efforts you (and the rest of the editorial team of course :-)) have made.

This is the fourth publication I have written but the first one dedicated to memory improvement alone.  The other three being a booklet on study skills (now out of print), an e book on being a succesful student and a "conventional" study skills book. 

The book is different from most other memory books in that I have forgotten where I have put it :-).  No seriously I have taken a solution focussed approach to the contents.  Of course you will find details about the popular memory techniques, but I show you how to apply them to every day memory challenges from remembering you ATM PIN through to recalling the names of people you have met to never forgetting a birthday or anniversary again.

I have also taken the key strategies that made me successful in the World Memory Championships and have laid out a 5 step plan to guarantee your success in just about anything that you do (not just improve your memory).

The book does not get published until next year (April 07 I think) but if you'd like to be on the official announcement list for its publication please do drop me a line by going to my contact page.

I am also in the process of putting together a completely comprehensive Memory and Concentration Improvement Programme that will only be available on the internet.  I won't say much about this now, but do keep coming back to the site to find out more about when the launch date will be.  (No secrets here but expect to see this multimedia based package launch before Christmas).

Now if you have a question that you would like to ask me about Memory Improvement, Mental Agility or Concentration, then please do contact me and let me know.  Just go to the "Ask a Memory Question" link at the top of this page.

I have a friend who speaks four languages fluently.  He is English and seems to have a knack for languages and he picks them up very quickly.  I also have several German friends from my exploits in the World Memory Championships and they too speak excellent English together with at least one or two other European Languages.  I met a Belgian colleague recently who also spoke fluent French, German and Dutch in addition to near perfect English (when I first met her I thought she was an American!).  All these people who speak other languages on the one hand can be quite demoralising but on the other can be quite insiprational because if someone else can do it then so can I.

If you have looked around my site you will have probably read of my attempts to learn some words of Georgian on my recent visit to Tbilisi to work with a client.  I personally re-discovered the importance of understanding your learning style when it comes to learning foreign vocabulary. 

Unfortunately I didn't really have enough time to prepare for that trip and learn a few words before I went.  However I have just arranged two weeks in the Ukraine next summer and so I have decided to learn to speak Russian in preparation for that trip.  I know, I know…Ukrainians speak Ukraine… however Russian is also spoken in that part of the world too as well as many other places and so Russian it is. 

LIke any good potential student of a foreign language, I went to the local library and got out the "Russian Short Course" 5 CD set.  Diligent as I am I started working through the first CD and discovered a little secret that is going to be the difference between me mastering the language and me returning the CDs having never got past the first lesson.  And that secret is just one word,  5 letters long… More

Do you ever find yourself forgetting information that used to be quite important but now that its time has past, is no longer relevant to you?  For example I met a woman and her boyfriend at a party recently and once we had exhausted the "mmm nice weather for the time of year…" type conversations, we got onto the subject of what we did for a living.  I established that she was a solicitor and that he was a vet and they learnt that I helped people with their memory and how to learn much more effectively.

Now I have mentioned this before on this site but invariably what happens in this More

If you have been reading my other posts, you may recall that at the beginning of September I told you how my concentration was way out.  I discovered this as I was getting back into memorising packs of cards.  Having not had the need to wade through 52 playing cards in a standard deck and memorise them, my skill in this particular discipline had gone extremely rusty. 

You see in the World Memory Championships there are two disciplines associated with playing cards.  The first is an endurance event where you attempt to memorise as many decks of playing cards in an hour and the second is a sprint event where you attempt to memorise a complete deck as fast as you can.  To do really well in these events requires an agile mind, slick technique and really focussed concentration.   Those I had in abundance when I was runner up in the World Memory Championships but now they are a little bit rusty.

Well I just wanted to share with you how things are going with my training because if you are worried about your levels of memory and concentration, then I have a way that you More

Today is a very special day indeed because my first and eldest nephew Matthew is 13 years old.  Now why is that special because every minute of the day there are many other 12 year olds that hit the teenage years and begin that time defined rite of passage into early adulthood? Well it is special because he is my nephew and I think I am allowed a little indulgence here.  That is me with him on the right at the beginning of last year - a fond memory indeed.

 You see one of the reasons that this is so special and important to me is that because of family difficulties between his parents as they were divorcing and in the subsequent years after (thankfully resolved and no longer a problem), access to Matthew More

As you will know from my post last week, the brilliant Gavin McCoy from BBC Radio Wiltshire interviewed me about memory and memory improvement.  We also talked about how learning a musical instrument can improve your memory.  Once again Gavin was the consumate professional and you will hear that when you listen to the interview.

 A recent study carried out with some young children has identified that learning to play a musical instrument from a young age promotes different patterns of brain development and actually improves memory.

So here is what I can glean from the reports on this study.  First of all it was carried out with a group of 12 children between the ages of 4 and 6.  Half of these had extra-curricular music lessons and the other half only had the music instruction that formed part of their normal everyday school curriculum.

The first thing to notice about this study is the very small sample group.  Just 12 children in the overall group and only half of those had the musical instruction that yielded an improvement in their memory.  So the headlines are hit with the More

Listening to the radio today I heard a radio presenter declare that scientists have discovered that a goldfish, once thought to have a retention span measured in just a few seconds, actually has a memory capability of at least three months.  Not only that but apparantly they can also tell them time!

Several questions jump to mind on hearing this.  The first is "… why would anyone in their right mind be interested in the memory span of a fish?"  The other question is "….what (useful) use could this information be put to?" and finally, "…how on earth do you test the memory of a goldfish?" 

Well first of all let's work on the assumption that a goldfish does have a memory span of just a few seconds (not because it More